Goals, Aims and Aspirations

"Goals", "aims" etc how many times have i started a brand new pretty journals with these above headings - my life is cluttered with half finished notebooks with scrawled lists of hopes and desires. Lists; i'm a great maker but a terrible doer, the eternal procrastinator. It easier i think as well to shove a slip of paper in a drawer or close a notebook, and forget it than it is to have the "list" looking you in the face in black and white. Thus why i'm typing here, and laying my university work to one side (procrastinator indeed).
I suppose it is blatantly obvious what my goals and desires are by glancing at this blog. Surprise, surprise its not to win the olympics.
Writing is my goal; whether it be novelist, writer or poet. I want to see someday my words in print, binded in a pretty cover. I don't want to be a bestseller, or a nobel prize winner (though i don't think i'd complain if that were to happen haha), i just want my words there. Immortalised. I think it wouldn't matter to me at all if they weren't 'big sellers' or i never 'lived off' my writing. I don't want to write to be 'famous' or whatever, it's not the reason i want to persue this. I honestly don't know why or have a set reason, i just enjoy writing.
I guess i want to just keep that in mind, when i'm freaking out or frustrated to death with this (and life), that this experience is to be enjoyed.
I can't describe the satisfaction at completing a piece of work, granted at the moment - this is refering only to a couple of decent poems. I doubt i shall be doing an Emily Dickenson and leaving a thousand poems in my wake.
So, to sum up this rambling and somewhat pointless post, my most important goal, ambition and aim is to write - whether it be fiction, prose or poems.
I want to write.

This is the beginning......

Well, i honestly can't believe i have taken the tentative steps to creating and posting a blog. I admit i always shied away from these, as i felt like i was intruding on someones diary. In last few weeks however, my opinion has changed. i have read some inspirational Blogs such as Seraphyns incandescent and J.B's aphotic scriptorium, which have encouraged me to step away from my fountain pen and make my thoughts, research and pathetic moods "public". My only hope is no one from the "real world" discovers this, as i want to vent and discuss my thoughts and my writing with out influence or worry.
Concerning my writing, and the lack there of: Since the time of the famous five, the hardy boys and the three investigators (yes i have older brothers, no nancy drew for me) i have wanted to write, i have always imagined stories but could never chanel them except in the odd creative writing essay or poem competition. It was only when i discovered fanfiction.net did i realise the huge community that was on the web, and the rest is history. i have written in various fandoms over the last couple of years, but though i am now in the middle of two such fictions, i feel i have stalled.
I have hoped for a touch of divine inspiration, so with a clash of thunder and fiery sparks, i would be struck with a made fever of writing and write and write and have instantly a novel. I honeslty hoped to have a 'stephenied' dream and write the story that needed to be told.

Haha, i know you are probably laughing at my naivity and well you should. I don't think the world works that way (for the majority of us), or we would all be bestsellers. No, I think i have to realise and i believe i have, that a novel is hard and gruelling work at times but is the more rewarding because of it.
So, i hope you shall join me on "my Blog" and see me grapple with ideas and research as i struggle to become a writer and poet.