Rambling updates and thoughts

This is just a small note, as you can probably see (the one person who actually may look at this blog) that i have made some additional changes to font/colour etc. No amazing updates however. I have to say the real world has been insanely busy of late, with lots of annoying essays etc. due in. I am still waiting on exam results so fingers crossed. In addition to font changes i have added links to my myspace/fanfiction/TW fanfiction sites that i am members of.

Please feel free to take alook around and leave a critique/comment on my stories/poems.

It is slightly pathetic but at the moment i seem drained of all creative energy. My fanfics are unfinished and i haven't started anysort of original work (not even an idea). I am so envious of those people who have a thousand and one ideas for a novel. I always dismiss any i have out of hand ( or make the mistake of mentioning one to an older (and 'wiser') sibling who starts a lecture on the unoriginality of said plot.

Fair enough. He was right.

I sound awful pretentious when i say this but i don't want to write a mediocre novel with an overdone plot. I wish i could have that inspirational dream (Twilight) or a ephiphany and just know what to do.

Years ago, when i first wrote my first fanfiction ( an exciting new world for me) i was thrilled and exuberant about it. Every waking moment I planned the plot on my old refill pad (which i still have) and it was so thrilling to get reviews.

It was amazing to think that 'People out there in the BIG WWW world actually would read your stuff!! You who was a nobody'. Hell, even the odd death threat was fine by me.

Talk about an ego trip!!

In recent years and as i have switched fandoms (present obsession Twilight) i have noticed a decline in quality of fanfics. The majority of writers (especially in TW) are young teens, and of course i bare that in mind. In this FF world though there is no midddle. Some are amazing (and you honestly think why oh why are these talented writers not publishing their own books) and other are absolutely horrendous - there is no middle.

Sometimes i wonder though if FF is damaging to fans - not in the traditional sense but in the literary and creative sense. I have come across some absolutely amazing authors picking through the garbage of Fanfics, and you are left feeling; first, 'Crap, she writes so amazingly well- way better than me. i'll never make it' and second 'wow. why is this person not writing a book!!'
I know many people would say - they just enjoy the characters and the writing and are satisfied with this - and fair deuce to them. however i wonder though if there is a kinda honey trap with FF - that though you practice writing, learn and get feedback (granted the 'i luv it, plz cntinu' isn't exactly helpful) you grow so dependent on the characters and background already being established that you go lazy??

A good friend of mine, who is an aspiring author Sera Phyn had an interesting view on the pros/cons of FF:

if you have a serious desire to become a published author, get out of fanfiction! Use it as something to practice with, a way to sharpen your storytelling skills, and then put it behind you. Let your favorite characters teach you about plot development, and then leave them to the author who created them. Somewhere along the way, discover your own voice and style, your own characters and stories, and spend your time building them.

i have to say i agree with her. I currently find that i have lost my 'voice and style' and creativity. I have a dozen plot ideas in my mind - all of which are FF centred. I don't even bother trying to start them - as i just feel .......tired. i have two unfinished FF currently. I want to finish them on principle, but everytime i sit down to start.

i just stare.

Blank. I guess this is writers block, Yes?

Joy.

I think my best option is to just not force it.

Let it flow when it flows. and if it doesn't??

There is always McDonalds.

*Shrugs*